So Good!

2004-03-21T21:02:00.000-08:00

Bee yooT ifull. and poetry.

Your love 'tis not the wine of evening's light,
Nor tis the rose of mem'ry's life,
Waxing fair when oft it errs.
Your thorns protect my heart ev'n as they cut my quick,
For in the pain I hold me back and look again at what I've found.
I see the barbs therein disguised;
The rose is not as seemed
and now I thank thee for thy hurt, for thy cold hand extended,
taught me now to guard my heart with reason's iron grip.

[i wish i knew who to quote]

2004-03-12T15:12:00.000-08:00

Everyday is a new day...

and life goes on.

But, oh -- this is not such a comforting thought. Leah said I should write poetry, but I don't think I'm at that level of intelligence currently, so I'll just ramble.

Two people died this week.
Neither close, but still, I knew them or knew of them. They were both close to people I know.
Neither death made sense...it was mindless, warped, completely unexpected.

And all I can ask is, "Why?"

And hate myself for doing so...I used to think distastefully towards people who said, "I just want to know why? Why does God let this happen?" I thought, in my ignorance of the depth of sorrow, that one could just accept everything and move on.

If only.

So here I'm stuck...sorting through my own heart, but hopefully -- and more importantly -- seeking the face of God. The only One who knows it all...not that I expect answers from Him. I just want security -- I want to know He's still "in charge," loves me, and that His ways are still right, just, and good.

Are You good, God?

...and then I wonder, does it matter? God IS who He is. He said, "I AM THAT I AM."
And I am merely human. Merely woman...not possessing nearly half the brain required to truly and fully comprehend the Ultimate Truth which is God.

2004-02-21T21:12:00.000-08:00

I wish life were much simpler.

I wish it was as simple as O Brother Where Art Thou's soundtrack...
if we could all sing blues and flit around it thin skirts under a constant hot sun,

that would be simple.

2004-02-04T10:07:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't updated here because I have a new blog......so go check it out!

2004-01-31T06:56:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh....home! I finally came home friday afternoon after an entire week with my (awesome) Grandpa in Norfolk...and the same pair of jeans 6 days straight. :o/ That's what happens when the snow and ice aliens take over...usually I'd go home mid-week and them come back the next day for school, but the roads were "impassable," or is it unpassable? Haha. Might as well have been an avalanche. Which makes me think of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Oh boy...abby I can't help but think how much of this stuff will probably only make semi-sense to you. :) yeeehhee. But just for fun, lets reminense some old songs from Seven blah-blah-blah:
Bless her beautiful--
uh.
I'm a lonely, something-something pole cat.
nah.
And the women were sobbing sobbing sobbing buckets of tears!
errr-- Man I forgot most of the lyrics, and the ones I do remember are like the worst ones. Hurmph.

So yes, I got to go home and hug my Hannah-pooh. Little sisters are great self-esteem boosters, "I want to be just like you when I grow up!" Too bad I can't be around on the weekends much though...of course that's when everyone wants to DO something. And that's when I'm at home studying and staring out the window at the cows or the beautiful sunset.
I'm not complaining -- at all. The drive home is an hour, but I get to talk with my dad and listen to Rush Limbaugh or some other radio guy scream about something semi-politically related. :) Wellll, the latter is not much appreciated. But really, the more guys I get to know, the more I appreciate my dad. ...for who he is as a guy. He's the bestest.

I'm thinking about starting a new blog :::horrors::: because my friend switched blogs and hers looks so much more awesome than mine...and we can't have tHaT! *cat screech*

...God is good....all the time!
remember.
remind.
!!!hApPy WeeKeNd fOlKs!!!

2004-01-30T09:40:00.000-08:00

Last night Leah dear stayed over.
Sharing a bed made me remember the last time .... .and laugh. *hahaahah*
I didn't know I was a violent sleeper until the 222 Conference for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship back in the fall. Ash claims I pushed all the blankets onto her because the room was so hot (I do remember the room being hot) and spread my arms out so far I was smothering her. :::meek look:::
So last night I warned Leah. She took the warning into account and chose to stay anyway, that little sweetheart. "(blank) perched precariously in pocket." -- There, now I quoted you!
Anyway, when we woke up early this morning for school the house was cold and made me wish my pjs had built-in footsies. I padded back here and found an IM message from Jon. . ...and, bless me, it was a TGS (teen girl squad) quote. *giggle*
On Wednesday night Justin talked about community. I admit, I was zoning out a little but he had some great wisdom to share. Looking around the room I was like, "wow! I'm so blessed to have already 'started a community' with some great girls at school." Still, I was challenged to make it "official" and ask one or two of them to meet with me regularly. Later on Ruth and I agreed we'd love to get together weekly. Hopefully we can "build eachother up," challenge, and encourage.
Hey Abby - an honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. That's biblical! You're probably not laughing right now, but I am. I miss you! and my heart misses you, too. That's not repetitive at all....

Finally -- I might look at an apartment tomorrow. How crazy is that? Besides getting married and having a cozy apartment, living with Ruth/Ashley/Kristen in our own place could be the next funnest thing. Girls, can we take turns cooking a nice dinner that we sit down to together about once a week? Not exactly Norman Rockwell picturesque, but still heart-warming. I will leave all other rambling thoughts to be condensed and typed at a later time. ~H

2004-01-30T05:06:00.000-08:00

Wassup guys. Teen girl squad is over-running my life. When your IM conversations turn into strict quotes from TGS you're really having fun. Strong bad has my utmost devotion.

Totally different train of thought...my family has been going to a different church recently, and I've visited a few times too. It's incredible. ....ok, so its really charismatic, but I've been to churches like that before.. ...it's still something more than that. After Urbana, and the crazy worship there (surrounded by 20,000 other people and all kinds of multi-cultural worship styles) my church's worship (the old church) seems quite :::blah::: Enthusiasm belongs in the body of Christ. Amen. Amen!!

So, school this semester. Nothing new, nothing extrodinarily exciting. You know? Freshman, first semester every class is an experience, (nearly) every friendship new, etc. Now the routine is there, and trudging around campus through muck whilst dodging those persistent construction vehicles is far from exciting. Ashley and I agree, our only consolation is that this is the semester preceeding summer. She surfs, I wish I did...but we have to do it tOgeTHer sometime, right? *laugh* Now that :::duh::: I've met you and you're so awesome (of course) *and* heart the sand and sun and waves [maybe a little] more than me!!

Ok, so this weekend is superbowl weekend. I'm fainting with anticipation.
Except, not!
Maybe I'll go to the youth group party, though, since there's bound to be food.. . ... .would that be Highlight #1?
Well now that I'm in a positive mindset I might as well go with it. *grin*
Highlight #2 for a non-sports fan during the superbowl: friends. Such beautiful smiles.
#3: Couches. (with food and friends not an arms length away)
#4: Food.
Hahahahah. Oh, ditto did I?

People-who-are-reading-this ~ you're so awesome. God bless you, always, Heather